I try not to take things personally. But after seeing a gopher snake face-to-face six times over a ten day period here on the orchard, I decided to pay closer attention. Figuratively that is! I certainly did not want to get any closer than I was when I took this photo.

So I opened to the snake section in Medicine Cards (by Jamie Sams & David Carson) receptive to whatever message might be mine to take to heart today.

“Look at the idea that you may fear changing your present state of affairs because this may entail a short passage into discomfort.  . . .  In order to glide beyond that place which has become safe but nonproductive, become Snake.”

It is always tempting to stop any process if moving deeper means challenging the status quo. For me as I grieved through the loss of my two brothers in 2012, I found resistance each step of the way. 

Now as I seek to reclaim life after loss the same thing can happen. Do I need to shed the skin of self-reliance? Co-facilitating a grief group has helped me reach out and comfort others as I too am comforted. Do I need to pay more attention to what triggers fear within me? Being attentive to my gut reaction when suicide was presented as possible path that a friend might take helped me to find even deeper healing concerning my brother John’s choice on April 16, 2012.

But what about now, why is the gopher snake appearing in my path? Is there some habit that while harmless is holding me back from using my time wisely to realize my full potential? I will pay attention and write more when clarity comes. Meanwhile I am grateful for this resident reptilian presence here at Dancing TreePeople!

It’s sucker time. Of the walnut tree variety that is! 

I just came in from the orchard - doing what I do most days at this time of the year. I was removing the small buds of potential branches that appear on the lower trunk of the trees in spring. The trees seem exuberant with the warmth of the sun throughout the longer days and the refreshing rain, sparse this year, but most welcome. Their desire seems to be all about growing every which way they can. However the suckers take needed energy from the tree’s main purpose: nourishing the seeds that will become walnuts. Removing the suckers is my way of helping the trees to focus.

And while I do that the trees help me as well. 

During the past three years I have been grieving and mourning the death of my brothers, John and Pat. Creating tributes to honor them has helped a lot.  Now something that seemed impossible in 2012 has happened. I am stepping into a new stage: reclaiming life after loss. It is exciting to feel alive again. And like the walnut trees I find myself pulled in many directions - anywhere I can grow is great, right?

As I begin to come alive again that may be true for a little while. But I too need to focus. What budding forth will bring life and fruitfulness to be shared with others? Can I cut back on the activities that distract me from “what is mine to do”? 

Tomorrow as I remove the suckers from the trees, I will reflect on the pruning – the choices – I need to make for my new life.